It's Your Life. Live It!

The place was a disaster. Grandkids littered the house in that way that kids do. Our peaceful, everything-in-its-place home was a cacophonous zone of clutter, noise and laughter. We created messes and half-heartedly cleaned them up. We nagged them about leaving their half-filled cans of soda everywhere, then quickly forgot about them as we all jumped into the pool. It was fun and frustrating at the same time — a delightful break from our everyday peace and quiet. Yet as we tearfully said our goodbyes at the airport, sending them home to their mother, only one thing crossed our minds:

“Give us our house back!”

The clutter that comes with a full house can have its charms, but the blissful tidiness of a two-person home brings a sense of calm and a lack of urgency. Retirement gives us the flexibility to take things a little slower and appreciate the finer things in life. 

When we are home alone we settle quietly in our lounge or out on the patio and have long, fascinating chats about any number of topics. Some evenings, Greg works his magic preparing a nice cut of beef as we decant a delightful bottle of Italian or French (or even Portuguese or Spanish) red wine and take our time savoring the flavors and dreaming of our next trip (perhaps to the winery that produced the wine we are sipping!).

When there’s a surprise knock on the door, the joy of an unexpected visitor popping by isn’t fraught with concerns about whether the house is clean. Everything is in its place and the only thing needed is to decide which cocktail to pour or wine to open. A cabinet full of clean glasses awaits a refreshing adult beverage and the conversation flows with ease with no mentally distracting list of to-dos. 

This didn’t happen by accident. We’ve been honing our tastes and preferences since our earliest days together. Our first apartment in Northern Virginia was a mash-up of a few things we brought from previous households and a pick-up truckload of furniture from Ikea. Our next apartment and then townhome in Alexandria became more creative canvases for our style as we continued to upgrade our lives together. It wasn’t until we moved to our current Arizona home that we allowed ourselves to truly say, “this is us.” Our style evokes an easy calm combined with an eclectic nature that speaks to our personalities. 

As Greg prepares for retirement in the next year, he’s beginning to rid himself of the mental baggage that comes with work. It’s difficult straddling between living for others and living for ourselves. We’re spending even more time just being together, enjoying the flexibility that being organized gives us. We’re less concerned about schedules, to do lists, and other “must haves” because there’s simply less of them!

It’s an ease we’re trying to instill in our grandchildren. Despite the clamour of their visit, we’ve noticed they are developing personal styles of their own. Even their mother, despite having three kids still at home, is curating her adult space and moving toward this feeling. We saw her eyeballing a set of cut crystal glasses for a bar she doesn’t yet have and admiring a blanket for a mentally-designed private, cozy, kid-free bedroom. 

It makes us proud they’re recognizing that the finer things in life don’t always involve spending money on more things. But rather, it’s about creating a personalized sense of calm.

©Judy and Greg Romano – All rights reserved.